the false blogger: December 2010 Archives

Jesus Visits Congress

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            Jesus burst into the Senate chamber and strode down the aisle, scattering papers and ledgers from the desks on either side.  The astonished Secretary rose and fled from his seat as Jesus seized the lectern.


            "Woe unto ye, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices--mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law--justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former." He surveyed the Senate floor, steely-eyed. "Woe to you, blind guides! You say, 'if anyone swears by the temple, it means nothing; but if anyone swears by the gold of the temple, he is bound by his oath.'


"Know ye not that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter heaven; yet ye clamor for the rich, they who have every voice and who sit with great power and rule all; and the lowly poor you silence and cast out upon the parched earth of want; yea, you increase their want as ye wax the riches of the wealthy!!"


The C-SPAN cameraman repositioned for a better angle; already the Senate video servers were straining from the massive demand.


"Do not exploit the poor because they are poor and do not crush the needy in court. Do not rob the poor, because he is poor, or crush the afflicted at the gate!

Know ye: He who oppresses the poor to increase his wealth and he who gives gifts to the rich--both come to poverty. Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the alien or the poor. In your hearts do not think evil of each other.


            " I will come near to you for judgment. I will be quick to testify against those who defraud laborers of their wages, who oppress the widows and the fatherless, and deprive aliens of justice, but do not fear me."


            A lawmaker, trembling, approached the microphone, wiping the sweat from his brow with a handkerchief. "But Master, must we not protect all without exception in this time of difficulty? Shall we give, or shall we not give?" He was using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus, knowing his hypocrisy, said unto him, "Why tempt ye me? For you have the poor with you always, and whenever you will you may do them good. There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and needy in your land." When the lawmaker heard this, he became very sad, because he was a man of great wealth; and he shrank from the microphone.


And with that, Jesus swept up his robes and stormed out of the chamber, leaving perplexity and shame burning on the brows of those within. He went into the House of Representatives and threw out everyone who was buying and selling there. He overturned the moneychangers' tables and the benches of those selling influence.


And when the lawmakers and the scribes saw the amazing things that he had done, and heard the people shouting in the streets and on the blogosphere "Hosanna! You tell 'em Jesus!," they became furious and asked him, "Do you hear what these people are saying?"


Jesus said to them, "Yes! Haven't you ever read, 'From the mouths of the infants and the bloggers you have created praise'?" Then he left them and went out of the city to Bethany and spent the night there.


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This page is a archive of recent entries written by the false blogger in December 2010.

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